The whole world would be a better place with cheerleaders like my Mom

It's been six months since I last heard her voice. Unfortunately, at that time, it was her calling out for me to do something about her pain. I wish her last words could had been "I love you."

My own words will never express how much I miss my mother. I recently told a friend that regardless of the fact that I'm nearly 60 and Mom was 94, I never imagined my life without her in it. That thought honestly never occurred to me. Even when she was so sick three years ago, it didn't enter my mind that one day I'd be lost without her.

It's been six-months since I returned to my bedroom to change my clothes, because Mom had looked me up and down and then greeted me with, "You're wearing that?" Now-a-days, I do it to myself and think twice before I get dressed.

It's been six-months since I gave her a shower, shampooed her beautiful, shiny silver hair (thank goodness I have those genes) and then carefully blow-dried it out into her signature bob. We both used to joke about how that could be my 'Plan B;' if I was ever unemployed and needed work, I could be a hairdresser, but only for women with bobs. We'd laugh about that, because every time I did her hair, she'd be so proud. No one could get her hair as puffy as I could. Everyone should have a cheerleader like my mom. The whole world would be a better place.

It's been six-months since we ran over each other in the kitchen. In fact, I used to get upset, because that darn walker would be in the way and I'd trip over it at least two or three times a week (you can tell just by looking at my mangled toes). I'd give anything to trip over it, again. The pain from my broken toes is nothing compared to this.
Mother's place was in the kitchen (or behind an ironing board - yes, she loved to iron). She'd have dinner waiting for my husband and me every evening; until about two years ago when she began to tire more easily. Then she started fixing dinner only once in a while. Still, when I'd have parties, Mom would be in there helping me with new recipes and cheering me on when I'd decide at the last minute to add something else to the menu. That's when she'd say, "You're going to do wonders and eat green cucumbers," doubting that I could get it all done. Little did she know that I actually took that strange quote to be words of encouragement.

It's been six-months since we last drooled over the recipes created on "Cupcake Wars" and marveled at the celebrity and professional dancers on "Dancing with the Stars." We'd play the part of the judges for both of those - our two favorite shows that I always made time to watch with her. In fact, on the night before she passed away, it is Dancing with the Stars that we were watching when my mother fell asleep pain free for the last time. Little did I know that the next time she'd awaken, it would be to cry out in pain and that would be the last time I'd see her with her eyes open.
I'm so proud, though, that Mom got to see me dance in a similar show held locally for charity. I danced the Tango, and Mom was my biggest fan. Every time I'd overhear her on the telephone with someone, she'd be telling them about me dancing. That was fun. And when I took her to the same event a year later (only two weeks before she passed away), she insisted that no one danced the Tango as well as my partner and I had danced the year prior. Everyone should have a cheerleader like my mother. The whole world would be a better place.

It's been six-months since we had 'family-day' at Sam's Club. I know how odd that sounds, but my husband and I included Mother in everything we did, and that included our Sunday shopping at Sam's.
My husband would often go in one direction with the grocery cart, and Mother, in her wheelchair, and I would go in the opposite direction - me loading things onto her lap.  On one such visit, I had put so many things in her lap, that you could barely see the top of her head over the pile. And yet, we managed to make additional room for a frozen pizza and a bottle of wine. It was the absolute funniest sight, and so many people waiting in line laughed. Mother was tickled and laughed about it all the way home.

It's been six-months since we spent Saturday together doing whatever we wanted to do: going to the Farmers' Market, visiting the cemetery, shopping, getting manicures and pedicures, going to fashion shows and teas, going to the movies, whatever it was -- we did it together.

It's been six-months since she showed me her beautiful knitting or cross-stitch projects -- literally six-months. The evening before she passed away, Mother went through her knitting bag, showing me the cross-stitch ornaments she had completed for 2012 and some other things she had made. I hope that one day I'm able to talk about that night with my younger sister. I need to tell her and she needs to hear it, but she isn't ready and I'm patient. It was a joyous few hours, though.
Mother could knit. She made me some sweaters that I'll keep forever, even though they no longer fit. She won a blue ribbon at our local fair for a sweater she made me, and then won one the following year for an afghan. Mom did it all. She sewed, teaching me when I was in fifth-grade, and later teaching my younger sister.

It's been six-months since Mom kept me company while I worked in the yard. I was never alone; Mom always sat with me, keeping me company, and often saying how she wished she could help.
When we were growing up in Miami, my dad worked long hours, so there were times when Mom also did the yard work. (Again, full disclosure -- While working in the yard, mowing, pulling weeds, etc., she'd wear these horrible tube tops that she made out of old dish towels and elastic - nothing went to waste. I was so embarrassed when my friends would come by and she'd be out there sweating in those tops. Oh to be embarrassed like that, again.)

It's been six-months since we all went camping together. Yes, my 91 to 94-year old mother went camping with us and loved it. She was so happy that when we bought our little trailer, we bought one with her in mind. I have the best husband in the world. Not many would do what he did for more than 10-years.

It's been six-months since we sat out on the back patio, looking up at the clouds and told each other what we saw in those clouds. Only two days before Mom passed away, she saw frogs leaping over each other and I saw an alligator.

It's been six-months since I kissed her "Good-night" and told her that I loved her, tucked her in for a cozy night's sleep, and then listened for her every movement through the baby monitor that I kept right by my head at night. (Full disclosure - the sounds of her moving around with her walker still awaken me at night.)

It's been six-months since I heard her voice, felt her touch, saw her smile and tasted her meatloaf.

It's been six-months since I accomplished anything - period.
Mother was the purpose to what used to be a very driven life. When you are given the kind of encouragement my mother gave me, why wouldn't you be driven? I just didn't realize it at the time. I didn't always take her words as encouragement, but rather I'd sometimes get frustrated by those words - thinking she was finding fault. That was never the case. I see it now.

Every person should have a cheerleader like my mother was to me. The whole world would be a better place. My bet is that many of you do, and you just don't realize it.
I pray I am that to my son and his wife.
Sure, time has softened the pain - somewhat - but I surely doubt that there will ever be a day, even an hour that I don't think about my mother.

That takes the cake!

From this:

 

 

You can make this:

For these:

I went to a local thrift store and picked up some old plates (one of these is bone China) a water goblet and a candlestick.
I brought them home and used epoxy to attach them together.
Now I can deliver my Dessert-of-the-Month to the birthday girl and not worry about getting my cake plates back. :)

FYI -- Lemon cupcakes filled with white chocolate, frosted with fresh blackberry buttercream and garnished with a fresh blackberry
- and -
Triple chocolate layered cake, fresh raspberry filling, frosted with fresh chocolate (from Nicaragua) icing, topped with fresh Florida strawberries, and garnished with white chocolate - all built inside a rolled wafer wall and tied together with a yellow ribbon.



From Something Bad Comes Something Great

The newspaper for which I work printed my article, which was also my last blog post about Glen Campbell and his decision to allow a feature/documentary film to be made about his struggle with Alzheimer's disease.

I was so honored when I opened the paper to the Opinion Page and saw my article featured. Key word there -- Opinion. Something some of the bravest men and women in this great country of ours  have fought to keep: the freedom to express one's opinion.
But it seems my opinion about the need to put a face to the disease and about how others before Glen could have done the same, but chose not to, ruffled a few feathers, and in so doing, I was accused of being anti-American for saying "such inappropriate things about the greatest American to live, President Ronald Reagan."
When I first heard about the Facebook war being waged against me, I was stunned, as nothing in my post was ever intended to be taken that way. And when a friend shared the postings with me (I'm not a FB friend with the instigator), I was - frankly - devastated. I chose not to comment on any of his rantings, because I didn't want to feed his ego. I took the high road, but it surely felt like the road less traveled for a while.

I've since realized something: A week earlier I attended a luncheon at which this same man (the instigator) sat right next to me. Now, I'm a very fortunate person in that often times I'm treated quite well when I attend some of the many fundraising events in my community. I keep it all in perspective, because I know it's my title and not myself that often draws the attention, and that's okay. Because of my job, I've been able to help so many non-profits garner more attention to their missions, and that's -- as Martha Stewart says -- a good thing. The instigator is likely used to the same type of attention when he attends events, as he has a small radio show in his small town.
On this particular day, I attended this luncheon, because it was going to be the featured story on the cover of my publication's next edition, and everyone there knew it -- so everyone eventually made their way over to my table to meet and greet. It was very nice and welcoming, but I did notice the man who would become the instigator had a pouty face on. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time, but now I wonder if the lack of attention towards him was the true cause of his ruffled feathers.
Just wondering.

I'm pretty sure the instigator has now gone on to stir the pot on other issues. I don't listen to his radio show -- his air waves don't reach me.

Here's the really good news from that day, though.
The event was the Women of Distinction awards luncheon to benefit the Girl Scouts of Southeast Florida, and it was held in a neighboring county. When I asked why they didn't do something similar in 'my county,' the reply was they couldn't get anyone interested.
I was a Girl Scout for many years, and my mother was either the leader or the assistant leader of my troops for most of those years. I loved scouting and - along with my parents - attribute much of who I am today to scouting.

I do believe Mom was speaking to me that day when I was told they couldn't get anyone interested in 'my county.' And she spoke to me for days following. So, in response, I have decided to chair a similar event to be held this time next year to also benefit the Girl Scouts. I'm positive this is what Mom wants me to do to pull myself out of the hole I've been stuck in.

So, you may be hearing from me real soon. I'm going to need as many of you as possible to help me out on this one, and I can't wait to get started.

Rhinestone Cowboy - Living Legend and Icon

Glen Campbell is to be applauded.

This is not about his numerous Grammy and Academy of Country Music awards, his 70 released albums or his 50 million in record sales.

Country legend Glen Campbell, diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease two years ago, has made the conscious decision to live out his life doing what he does best and what he enjoys most. In the process, Glen Campbell, his wife Kim and their grown children have put an iconic face to Alzheimer's disease.

Others before him could have done the same, but chose not to. And I can't help but wonder how much more time and resources would have been spent on research for drugs and an end to the disease that steals minds and memories if American greats the likes of Ronald Reagan and Charlton Heston had done the same. Certainly we would be at least 20-years ahead of where we are today in the discovery of new drugs. But, after being diagnosed, former President Reagan and Mr. Heston chose to live the remainder of their lives basically in solitude. They had the opportunity to help countless others by becoming a voice for those with the disease and for those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. But, instead of putting a face on a disease that most likely will affect every family in the United States by the year 2030 (only 17 short years away), Ronald Reagan and Charlton Heston chose only to write letters to the American public that held each of them in high esteem.

I had the honor and privilege last night (March 12, 2013) to attend "Untitled: Glen Campbell Documentary" at the Riverside Theatre in Vero Beach. It was the "unveiling" of a new feature/documentary film to be released - hopefully - by the end of the year. The event was a fundraiser for the Alzheimer's Drug Discovery Foundation (ADDF), at which segments of the unedited film were viewed by an audience of about 900.

James Keach (Walk the Line and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman) and Trevor Albert (Caddyshack and Groundhog Day) are behind the film that will raise awareness and funds for ADDF and its continued efforts in the discovery of drugs to prevent, treat and cure Alzheimer's disease.
 

"This is not a movie about Alzheimer's - rather it's a movie about an extraordinary man who's been diagnosed with it and has taught us to live in the moment as a result," said Mr. Keach.
 

The Alzheimer's Drug Discovery Foundation is led by co-chair Leonard A. Lauder of the Estee Lauder Co. In fact, it is the Estee Lauder Co. that pays the overhead associated with running the foundation that has invested more than $60 million to fund 400 drug research programs in 18 countries. Therefore, 100-percent of every dollar donated goes directly to Alzheimer's drug research and discovery.
 

After the film, Victoria Ghost, a country/roots band comprised of two of Glen and Kim's children Ashley and Shannon and Kiefo Nilsson, took to the stage and played several songs before Glen, who had been obviously chomping at the bit to get on stage, joined them. He, on guitar, and Ashley, on banjo, played "Dueling Banjos" as the audience stood and cheered them on.
 

Glen Campbell is an inspiration. His diagnosis has not wavered his passion for music and performing, and his family perseveres through it all. Finally, there is someone willing to put a face to this awful disease.
 

 

I applaud Glen Campbell and his family for this bold move. Others before him should have done the same.

Glen Campbell is an icon.

 

Just like Pooh, I'm stuck, too.

I think it's time for more family-fun crafting. Don't you?
Quite a few of you sent me emails and Facebook comments about the little yellow chicks made from clay pots, so here's another fun craft made with a clay pot.

Remember Winnie The Pooh? One of Pooh's misadventures was getting stuck in Rabbit's hole. Rabbit tries to push and push and can't get Pooh out. Well, consider this craft Rabbit indulging in his stash of honey and now, he's the one who's stuck.

How cute is this little "Rabbit Stuck in a Hole?"

This is another craft I took to the nursing home for my father (who had Alzheimer's disease) and me to work on together. Like I've said, it always made him feel as though he was being helpful, and it made our time together go so much more smoothly. We always made enough of whatever we were working on to give to others; both in and out of the family.

Here's what you'll need for one "Rabbit Stuck in a Hole:"

One 3-inch clay pot        One 3-inch Styrofoam ball

Elmer's glue                    White acrylic paint

Yellow acrylic paint        Pink acrylic paint

1-inch paint brush           One stippling brush

One 1-inch diameter pom-pom

small piece of white felt

small piece of pink felt

small amount of green "Easter" grass

paper plate

 

 

 

Let's get started...

 

 

Put a generous glob of white paint onto the paper plate and paint a little more than half of the Styrofoam ball. Because the Styrofoam ball is so porous, it will take a bit of paint. Set aside to dry.

 

Put a small amount of both the yellow and the pink paint on the paper plate, and begin to stipple the outside of the clay pot with both colors. Set aside to dry.

Using the white felt, cut out the bottom of the rabbit's feet. The three-toed feet are a little less than 2-inches long and about 1 1/2-inches wide. Then cut out six 1/4-inch diameter pink felt circles and two 1/2-inch diameter pink felt circles. Glue the pink circles onto the two white felt feet as shown and set aside.

Once the clay pot has completely dried, apply a ring of Elmer's glue around the inside of the clay pot, approximately a 1/4-inch from the top. Lay the Easter grass inside, then apply a second ring of glue and lay the Styrofoam ball inside -- making sure the painted side of the ball is facing up.

At this point, to some of you, it may resemble an ice-cream cone, but to me, it's definitely going to be a silly rabbit that got stuck in a hole.

Glue the white pom-pom slightly off center. Then glue the two feet just below the rabbit's tail.
You've just completed your "Rabbit Stuck in a Hole." And like I say to all my Crafting Sistas each month, "It's your project, so paint the pot whatever color you want to paint it. Make it a brown bunny instead of a white one; or put moss around the edge of the pot instead of Easter grass.

Anyway you look at it, he's really cute. Be sure to sign and date the bottom of the pot.

Sometimes I feel a little like Pooh and like that rabbit you just made -- I feel a bit stuck right now in my life. I'm not exactly here or there. I'm stuck in the middle of no man's land. I'm not sure where to go in my life, and I'm not even sure I know what my options are or if I even have any. I look around and see God using others all around me. The use of their talents astounds me. I'm waiting it out until ....well, I don't know when.

So I keep plugging along...and praying...and asking God to get me "unstuck." I  wonder how God finds me useful at the moment. I'd like to think that maybe some of my words on my blog resonate with someone who reads them or that my "day-job" helps others. But right now, I find things to be frustrating; not going anywhere.

 

I'm waiting to get unstuck right now. I'm tapping my head like Winnie the Pooh and saying, "Think, think, think!" So far, I'm still stuck in no man's land waiting for the pudge to budge.

 

In the meantime, I'm going to keep plugging away at my blog, because its healing power is good.

 

Happy crafting, happy Easter, and most important, happy family-time! Cherish every moment of it.

Time for Some Spring Family Fun My Little Chick-a-dee

How about a little crafting?

This is something you can enjoy with your children or grandchildren -- or in my case -- I enjoyed with my father while he was in nursing home care because of Alzheimer's disease. Spending quality time with family is a rewarding experience, the benefits of which pay off for years to come. Spending time with your children or grandchildren is so much more important than spending money on them, and this is an inexpensive craft to do together.

Each evening after work for 15-months, I stopped at the nursing home and took something for my dad and me to do together. It was usually an easy crafting project that included painting clay pots. He really enjoyed it -- it made him feel as though he had work to do and he was being helpful. I enjoyed spending that time with him each night, and it gave my mother a break.
Spending time with your loved one that's afflicted with Alzheimer's disease is priceless -- all you need to do is find something you can both enjoy doing together -- engage your loved one and the time with them will be time well spent.

I have quite a few of these cute little projects that Dad and I did, and I use most of them as Easter decorations.

Here's the first one I'm going to show you how to make:

My cute little Easter Chick made from a clay pot, clay tray and wooden hearts.

 

 

 

 

Gather your supplies. To make one clay pot Easter Chick you will need the following supplies:

One 2 1/2-inch clay pot

One 4-inch clay tray that goes with clay pot

2 wooden hearts that are about 3/4-inch in diameter and about 1 1/4-inches long

yellow acrylic paint

blue or turquoise acrylic paint

pink acrylic paint

white acrylic paint

one yellow fluffy feather

8-inch piece of yellow satin ribbon

black thin marker

orange marker

1-inch paint brush or foam painter

One Q-tip

hot-glue gun

 

 

Paint the outside of the clay pot yellow and set aside to dry.

 

Paint the entire wooden hearts yellow and set aside to dry.

 

Paint the inside and the outside of the clay tray either turquoise or blue. 

When clay pot, tray and hearts are completely dry, apply a second coat of paint to each and set aside to dry.

 

On a paper plate, squeeze out a little bit of the white paint and then squeeze out a little daub of the pink paint. Using the end of a small paint brush, dab the end into the pink and make a dot on the outside of the completely dry tray. About a half-inch away, make a white dot. Continue in this pattern until you have painted dots all the way around the tray.

Set aside to dry.

 

Using the thin black marker, outline one side of each completely dry heart and set aside. You can outline the hearts with a solid line, or you can make it look like stitching by drawing tiny little lines around the hearts.

 

Using the thin black marker, draw two tiny little beady eyes.

Right below and right between the eyes, draw the beak - an inverted triangular shape.

Fill the beak using the orange marker. 

To make the cheeks, put a little of the orange marker on the cotton end of a Q-tip and lightly rub the Q-tip on each side of the beak.

 

Heat up your hot-glue gun.

Make a small bow using the yellow satin ribbon and glue it onto the Chick right underneath the beak.

Glue the hearts onto the Chick on each side and slightly above the eyes, making sure the outlined side is facing out.

 

Then glue the fluffy yellow feather inside the drainage hole of the painted clay pot. You don' t have to, but you can put some Easter grass in the tray, then put the Chick on top and guess what?

You're done!

 

How cute are these little gems? I'll tell you...they are super cute!

I had my dad sign his...he wrote the date and my mother's name. You can do the same by having your children sign and date them, then you can give the Chicks to your children as gifts when they celebrate Easter with their own children.



My dad and I did these together on March (I know it looks like an 8, but he had some trouble writing) 15, 2001.

Fun, Fun times!