My husband and I only lived about a half-mile away from my parents at the time, so we were on 24/7 call, which we didn't mind. But the true hardship was on my mother, who - at one point - literally locked herself inside with Daddy for about six-months after he wandered off one morning in their car and took a "joy ride" across south Florida. Luckily we found him before any harm had come to him or others, but nothing was ever the same after that. Mother locked all the doors and windows, hid all the keys and when I would go to their house after work each day, she would go into their bedroom and close the door. The job of a loving caregiver is, in one simple word, hard.
The Huffington Post has posted a story (follow the link below) entitled Confessions of a Worn Out Alzheimer's Caregiver, which is a good read:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marie-marley/dementia-caregiver_b_2614194.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
It's not really the reason I'm writing tonight, but if you are a caregiver, please do read it.
Tonight, I'm trying to ward-off the tsunami. I feel it coming on, again, but I'm hoping I can write about some of the things that are triggering my emotions and "handle" it.
The new bed was delivered on Saturday, so now my mother's room has a queen-sized bed in it for our guests. Mom has settled down and I'm not running into her in the hallway now. In fact, I haven't smelled her since her room was put back together Saturday, which I miss. But while I was making the bed with its new sheets, I got sidetracked (squirrel!) by some of the collectibles on shelves in the room. Angels everywhere!
Here's why:
On the very day we placed Daddy in nursing home care, a tiny black and white kitten showed up at my mother's back door. At first, Mom was completely unimpressed and wanted my older sister or me to take the kitten to the Humane Society. She sat in her chair with the little thing in her lap and began to cry, and we knew right then - despite any protests to the contrary - the kitten had found a new home. Within a few hours, Mother had decided it was a sign, that it was meant to be, and named the kitten "Angel." From that day forward, my mother collected all things angels, and she and the kitten were inseparable.
Poor little Angel died from kidney and liver problems about two years before my mother passed away. Mom's heart was broken. It was her last connection to my dad - her husband of 65 years. I understand that. I really wanted her to get a new kitten, but she didn't want to have anything at all to do with that idea. Still today, I wish she had done it.
At some point, I will begin to box up some of the angels in our house and I'll give them to my sister and brother, my son and nieces and to my cousins -- I'm sure they will appreciate them as much as Mother did.
In the meantime, the angels are all where Mother placed them, and I enjoy seeing them everyday. Because Mom lived with us for so long, there are many things around our house that remind me of her...but the angels make me think of both Mom and Daddy.
Here are the lyrics to Angels Among Us, a song released in 1993 and written by Don Goodman and Becky Hobbs:
I was walking home from school on a cold winter day.
Took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way.
It was getting late, and I was scared and alone.
But then a kind old man took my hand and led me home.
Mama couldn't see him, but he was standing there.
And I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers.
Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with the light of love.
When life held troubled times, and had me down on my knees.
There's always been someone there to come along and comfort me.
A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand.
A phone call from a friend, just to say I understand.
And ain't it kind of funny that at the dark end of the road.
Someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope.
Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with the light of love.
They wear so many faces; show up in the strangest places.
To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need.
Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with the light of love.
To guide us with the light of love.
