When Hospice came in to care for her about 10 days before she passed away, she looked up at me and said, "I thought I was going to live to be 100." That was and remains the saddest thing I've ever heard, because she was so disappointed. I was accustomed to always being able to take away her disappointments, but this time, I had no control. Only weeks earlier she had been to a County Commission meeting with me where they had recognized a woman who had reached her centennial celebration, and Mother thought it was so special for Commissioners to do that. She spoke about how she looked forward to that one day. And I believed it would happen, too.
Tonight, my husband and I honor Mom with Publix fried chicken (only Publix, no other), mac and cheese and key lime pie -- all things she enjoyed. I know she's smiling.
I have so many memories of celebrating my mom's birthday, but all of them are as an adult. I don't have any childhood memories of birthday parties or even birthday cake for her. So, I went to my sister for the scoop. She assures me there were celebrations, most often at the restaurant my parents owned in Mounds, Illinois. My dad wasn't good at taking it upon himself to buy Mom birthday, anniversary or Christmas gifts. He usually had someone do it for him. So, my sister tells me that my aunt always took care of making sure Mom's birthday was celebrated in a big way.
This is a pic of my mom and a friend working at the little diner
my parents owned in Mounds, Illinois.
Once we moved to Miami, I have no idea how Mom's birthday was recognized. I just don't have any memories of that, but I do have great memories of how Mom saw to every detail of holiday meals. She went all out, long before Martha Stewart came along. We always had a houseful of guests and friends, and Mom made it all. No pot-luck at our house.
Here's Thanksgiving 1976. How beautiful is this table?
Mother spent so much time with us. She taught me to sew when I was just nine-years old. We began by making Barbie doll clothes. We would "build tents" in our carport using bed sheets and card tables, and Mother would crawl in with us and sit there for hours as she showed me how to hand-stitch. She thought the 'real' Barbie clothes were too expensive, so she made all of the clothes for our Barbies. Just look at this evening gown, shawl and suit she knitted for my Barbie.
I wished as a child these clothes could be mine.
Actually, I wouldn't mind it today. Look how pretty that suit is!
We held a huge surprise party for her 89th birthday, not for any reason other than I wanted her to see how loved she was. My brother flew in for the day from San Antonio, my cousins came in from West Palm Beach; everyone was there.
A couple of years later, we took her on a cruise to Mexico to celebrate her birthday. What a blast!
Mom boards the ship in Miami.
Fun in Cozumel.
While I miss her just as much today as I did when she first left this earth, I also know how blessed I am to have had such a loving, caring, attentive and special mother.
I don't care that I'm 61 and still missing your smile, your advice, your love.
Every day I wake up, I always have you to thank. I have your guidance, your warmth,
your love, and your heart: someone who loved me unconditionally, right or wrong.
You will always be my Mom.
It's time to come home.
