Have you ever had the experience of learning something new that sort of takes over your brain - your thinking patterns or how you actually see things?
For example:
My mother once told me that when she was learning how to sew, she actually sewed her dreams. She sewed peoples faces as she stood talking to them. She sewed the landscape of southern Illinois. In other words, she saw everything as pieces of fabric stitched together.
Can you imagine? You're looking someone square in the eye and all you can see are the stitches that are holding their baby blues in place?
We laughed so hard, but I actually understood what she was saying.
She shared that story with me when I was in high school and taking the mandatory typing class (which I hated and skipped most of the time, because - and I quote - "I am never going to be any one's secretary. I'm going to be an actress. I will never need this skill."). This was, of course, long before computers, cell phones and tablets. I had mentioned to Mom that learning how to type was driving me crazy, not only because I inherently hated it and what it stood for in my mind, but also because I typed everything out in my head; every single thing I said and was said to me, every sentence uttered on television and every song on the radio - it all had to be typed out in my mind before I could actually process it. It drove me crazy.
The same thing happened to me when I was learning how to decorate cakes. I had taken a Wilton cake decorating class back in the mid-1970s - before covering a cake in fondant was the norm. We used actual colored frosting, and everything I looked at was smeared in buttercream. I'm not kidding. From people's faces to the beautiful Fort Lauderdale Beach, it all presented a cake decorating opportunity. It was a much sweeter picture than looking at Frankenstein's head, don't you think? Still it was very distracting when I'd try to have a conversation with someone.
Believe it or not, I'm experiencing it all over, again. I've been working on a mosaic to donate to a local homeless center for an auction folks there are planning. They asked nine local and well-known artists - and me - to re-purpose some items picked out from the center's thrift store. I laughed when they asked me to "join the fun," because I'm far from being an artist. But I love a challenge and, frankly, I prefer to be as busy as possible. So, I said, "Sure!"
I decided on the two-drawer night stand to update, and possibly make a buffet
platter using the chandelier. We'll see.
I picked out a two-drawer night stand, thinking all I'd do would be to repaint it. But I soon decided that I'd cover the top of it in a mosaic.
Now, be sure you understand this - I have never made a mosaic, and I'm no artist.
I started off sanding and repainting the nightstand, then drew my pattern on a piece of paper the same size as the top of it. I transferred my pattern to the wood top, cracked up some pieces of colored glass (supplied by a very good friend) and began gluing them in place (using Liquid Nails).
It started to take shape and that's when the "trouble" began. I'm sure it will stop in a few days, but right now, everything I look at is a mosaic. I can't look at anything without wondering what it would look like as a pattern for a mosaic or if it would make a good surface for one. I close my eyes and see a mosaic. Ha!
(By the way...once all the glass pieces were glued down, I grouted the top of the nightstand with sandless pre-made grout available at any home improvement store. I wiped off the excess and waited a day or two for it to completely dry. Then I cleaned all of the glass and sealed the grout.)
Back in high school, when I couldn't get the crazy keyboard off my mind, Mom convinced me that my problem of typing everything out in my head would soon go away and I'd be left with a skill that I'd use - even if I wasn't someone else's secretary. She convinced me to see it through; that deep down I knew it was the right thing to do to continue getting good grades. I guessed that, in other words, I really did care and wanted to be the best I could be, no matter what the subject was. She must have been right, because although I did skip at least 60-percent of my typing classes (truly, at least 60-percent), I still made straight As. (Not sure if that meant I was brilliant or if the teacher was stupid.)
The same held true for cake decorating. After weeks and weeks of imagining everything I looked at covered in frosting, I finally got past that. I wasn't half-bad at cake decorating; creating my sister's wedding cake (which to me was such an honor), as well as many others throughout the years.
I'm still not an artist, certainly no Italo Botti. But I am enjoying this new art form/craft and actually hope to have the time to do more. (I'm hoping I can bid on my beautiful nightstand.)
Lesson learned: Life is a mosaic of pleasure and pain. Grief is an interval between two moments of joy, and I'm beginning to see that second moment. Also, you're never too old to learn something new...now on to the chandelier makeover.
Love you, Mom.
