Mind Uploading - The Memory Transfer

"Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
                                                                -- Benjamin Franklin

Unfortunately, I've put off a million things since my mother passed away, and I keep doing it, but Mr. Franklin's philosophy is one my brother has adopted (I hope not temporarily) as he has ventured off to Southern Illinois, Indiana and Missouri. My retired-from-the-military brother is not a traveler, and he certainly hasn't attempted a journey on his own. He, too, has been putting things off - since his wife passed away.

He was supposed to take this pilgrimage with my older sister. The plan was to go back to their roots, their old stompin' grounds, and re-connect to those simpler times. They were going to make stops throughout that tri-state area and visit with classmates from the 1950s, re-discover the old and tired old towns of Southern Illinois and visit with family. They would share stories; most likely each of them having different memories to share. But, because of an emergency, my sister had to cancel.

My brother was disappointed, and I encouraged him to just hold off until she could reschedule. Shame on me!

A day or two later, he called to say he was still going and had everything planned. The OCD side of my brother just wouldn't let him go out the door without a complete itinerary, down to the dates and times he would be in each town. And you know what? That's okay. At least he went forward with his plans -- far more than I would have done if I'd been in his shoes. While this trip may not sound like much to some, it is certainly a huge step for my brother. I have been so thrilled for him, and just a little green with envy. I wish I'd been able to also go (but you'll soon see, I sorta' did).

Before he left San Antonio, he dragged himself into a cell phone store and moved into the 21st century with a new iPhone (prior to that, he was still using a flip phone of some kind), and he taught himself how to take pictures and then send those photos through Facebook and texting. He laughed when I dubbed his trip "Pee Wee's Great Adventure." (My six-foot brother is far from being Pee Wee)

His first few days were spent visiting with his old friends in Missouri, so I didn't know the area or the people. One of his first night's stay was in a town called Festus. I explained to him how to turn the camera around on his cell phone so he could take a "selfie" and then asked him to take a photo of himself in front of the Festus sign, since he looks so much like Uncle Fester from Adams Family. He laughed, again, but you know what? The next morning, there was a photo of my brother in front of the sign posted to Facebook! That's when I knew this was going to be a great trip for him and I was going to live vicariously through his phone calls, his Facebook posts and his text messages.

Back in 2007, I took Mother back to Southern Illinois, to her "homeland." I remain so glad we took the trip and extremely grateful for that time with Mom. We went to many of the same places my brother is now visiting, which makes my brother's trip all the more special - even to me. Since his itinerary has taken him into Illinois, I've cried both with excitement and sadness as he calls and tells me what he's doing and where he is.

Today he went to Vienna, Ill., a small town that bustled in the 30s and 40s, but he couldn't find the old home in which our grandparents lived, nor the little house in which our parents lived, so, disappointed, he went on his way to his next stop.
When our father's parents died from complications caused by a car accident, my brother was only three and I was not even a twinkle in my parents' eyes, yet. So, neither of us knew our grandparents on my father's side.

Thank goodness for technology, though, because I was able to send my brother photos of what the two houses looked like in 2007. But, instead of going back, he carried on with his planned itinerary, which took him to Alto Pass, along Southern Illinois' Wine Trail, and to Bald Knob, the home of the giant porcelain cross. 

The Cross of Peace is so beautiful, and in the middle of nowhere. Mother and I went there in 2007 on the foggiest of days, and we both wept at the sight of it. It stands 111-feet tall and overlooks the Shawnee National Forest, a favorite place of my father's.

Bald Knob Cross of Peace in 2007

So, here's the really good part to this story.The old photos I sent to my brother earlier today piqued his interest and after sending up a prayer from the Cross of Peace, my brother decided to return to Vienna. Thanks to my pictures, he was able to find what my parents called the "Big House," where my grandparents lived (my grandfather was a doctor and delivered most of the babies in the area) and the "Little House," where my parents lived. Not only that, but he came upon some elderly people whom, after he explained what house he was looking for and why, invited him to "sat for a spell and have some lemonade." And tonight, as he was having dinner, he ended up speaking to two elderly gentlemen who knew our grandfather!

I've looked forward to every phone call my brother has made to me; today there have been dozens. Even though I'm not physically there, I've lived every moment of his trip with him - and I've been able to share some of Mother's stories she shared with me in 2007; things my brother didn't know. If my mother and I hadn't made that trip together, she likely wouldn't have been moved to share her stories - as the places we visited sparked memories that I also hope to carry with me forever.

Mother and me in Metropolis, Ill. in 2007 at an old one-room school house

that was made into a bed and breakfast - a fabulous trip when her memories became mine.

I think my brother's going to return home a changed man. Alone, he has made new friends out of complete strangers - people who have shaped his past into a new future.

Sparking a fire under my creative juices

OMG!
Sunday, July 14, was one of the best days I've had in about a year!
Who knew a tea party would be the new beginning I needed?
And Mother would have been right in the heart of it all.

Several months ago I was asked to captain a table for a tea party being held to benefit a local faith-based charity. I was going to say, "No," but I'm so glad I didn't. The event became my "beginning to climbing out of my hole" party!

The cool thing is that the tea party also became a lesson in both creativity and tolerance.

As a table captain, I had to invite seven other women to join me, come up with a theme for our table and provide the entire table setting and table décor for that theme. After I accepted the challenge of being a table captain, I decided I wanted to come up with a new and different theme - not the typical beautiful, flowery setting you always see at tea parties. I thought about a Mad Hatter theme, but decided that was too typical.

So, I consulted a friend who has a reputation for being very creative (I call her the goddess of creativity), who came up with something that would definitely turn heads. Rumors flew around the county about our theme, to the point that when I went to set up our table the day before the tea party, there was speculation as to what I was bringing in with me.

Using the best selling fiction novel 50 Shades of Grey as the basis for our plan, my friend came up with 50 Shades of Earl Grey as our theme! My friend sparked the fire and I lit the torch and ran with it!

Each of my partners in crime (my table of eight) participated by bringing something that included Earl Grey tea in the recipe, and each agreed to dress in grey with fishnet stockings and carry with them a little something extra - like handcuffs, whips, chains, etc. (You'll have to read the book to know what I'm talking about.)

I spent weeks gathering recipes that used Earl Grey tea and finally decided upon Earl Grey/vanilla cookies, Earl Grey biscotti, Earl Grey banana bread, dried Hibiscus bloom/Earl Grey iced tea, Earl Grey/Champagne spritzers and - the Pièce de résistance - Earl Grey martinis. Our table was draped in black with a grey pin-striped topper and a red lace topper over that. The chairs were covered in black satin and tied off at the back with men's ties. It was all very simple, yet very sexy.

Among all the beautifully decorated tea party tables, here is our sexy table for "50 Shades of Earl Grey."

And, our centerpiece was a creatively ingenious cake - a grey book titled 50 Shades of Earl Grey with a man’s tie, a beautiful tea cup and a pair of handcuffs sitting on top of the book (all completely edible) - made by a local cake designer - and sitting on top of a large grey candelabra. Stunning! 

How stunning is this?

Now back to the day before when I was setting up and decorating our table: As I said, rumors had been flying around the county about our 50 Shades of Earl Grey theme, and some of the women were concerned. When I began decorating our table, one even confessed that she thought I'd have plates with naked people in positions from the kamasutra (of course, I was curious as to how this God-fearing and faith-loving woman knew of the kamasutra). I just laughed and said, "Wait until tomorrow!" (It's fun to stir the pot.)

The next day, at party time, we all arrived wearing our grey dresses and pants and black fishnet stockings. Some of us had hats and gloves for tea time (some of us really, really got into the theme).

My "Table of 8." Some of you will recognize them.

Since liquor wasn't actually allowed, we had to take our martini and spritzer makings into the handicapped bathroom stall and work from there - filling the glasses and taking them out to our table. We decided it would be easier to just say, "Oh sorry," if anyone got upset. It was almost evil and naughty in nature, yet so much fun.

So much fun!

But it turned out that most of the women attending "wanted to be us!" They complimented us on our creativity, praised us for our boldness and lined up around our table when we shared our delicious chocolate and strawberry cake.

Everything about that day was fun, even tearing down our table, packing everything up in boxes and carrying it all out to the car in a monsoon that dumped more than four-inches of rain on us in less than four hours. But, we all agreed that next year we'll have some young, shirtless guy come and tear things down for us. That would be far more interesting!

The charity's message is one of tolerance - helping those unable to help themselves; giving a hand-up and a second chance to those who have been hit by hard times; and enabling others to stand on their own two feet.

Sunday’s Tea Party was also a message of tolerance, as those who worried about my table’s theme soon learned there was nothing to fear.

The party was also a conduit to taking that first step in climbing out of the rabbit's hole.
It’s been nearly a year since I had that much fun, since I threw myself into something that allowed that creative side of me to flourish. I appreciate the tolerance of my table of eight and the patience of my friends at the charity.
I look forward to next year’s Tea Party; who knows what we’ll do? But I know that everyone will want to be there to see it.

 

 

 

Camping Is In-Tents!

I love to camp.
I loved going to Girl Scout Camp at Greynolds Park in Miami and I loved going to church camp each summer in Leesburg. I especially loved it when my parents bought a pop-up camper, took a month off after I graduated from high school and we traveled to New Mexico - camping all along the way.

As young newlyweds, and until our son was about four-years old, we roughed it in a tent.
When we first bought our little tent, we practiced setting it up in the living room of our one-bedroom apartment and then spent the night in it. Ahhh, young love! (And young joints and muscles)

Our tent is set up in the living room of our first apartment in Hollywood, Fla.
 

For our first wedding anniversary, we camped at what was back then a very small Disney campground. I even took the top layer of our wedding cake with us to celebrate.
We camped all over - in the Florida Keys, Lake Worth, Lake Placid, and even made a trip up to Illinois for a family reunion, camping along the way. Those were the days!

Then we went in with my parents in 1981 and bought a pop-up camper, which made life so much easier. We had two queen-sized beds that were NOT on the ground, and we had a cute little kitchen that folded up into place that included a sink with pumped water and a two-burner stove.

Our first camping trip in the pop-up was just two days after buying it - we went to a local park

 and watched the first Space Shuttle launch. This is my husband and our dog Button.

Our son was fishing in a small pond right in front of the camper.

We had that pop-up for 18-years and traveled all over the place in it -- Georgia, Washington DC, New York, Canada, Pennsylvania, Illinois, North Carolina, South Carolina and, of course, most of Florida. Such good times remembered in that camper; spending the best quality time with our son and with many friends. Often there were as many as 35 of us camping with our children - rain or shine.
We eventually gave the pop-up to my nephew, who continued the tradition for about five more years.

In February of 2010, we bought a trailer, which I call our "home away from home" and my husband calls our "emergency shelter in case of another hurricane season like 2004."

Mom and I standing in the doorway of our new camper.

Mother was thrilled when we bought the camper - she enjoyed camping as much as we do and, thank goodness, we were able to take several trips with her, savoring every moment.

Which brings me to the point of today's post...

 

My husband and I were camping on Pine Island on the west coast of Florida this past week. My younger sister even came and camped with us for two nights. I warned her that at 5 a.m. every morning, this one particular bird would sing and would keep it up for about an hour. I told her that it might wake her.

It wasn't until Sunday morning when we were packing things up to leave, that I realized what kind of bird it was. As we were making the final check to ensure we had everything, the bird began to sing. I looked up and it was a cardinal sitting on the branch right next to the back side of our camper.

It was my mother.

If you've been following my posts, you know that's how my mother makes her presence known. Sometimes it's both Mom and Dad, and sometimes it's just her.

That morning while having breakfast, I sadly said to my husband that I hadn't heard from Mom in a while, and then this!

It was just the perk I needed.

So, there she was - with us camping, again.

 

PS -- The first two photos above are from the "missing photo album." Yes!! I found it, but it wasn't just one I was missing. It turns out there were two missing -- but I found them and all is well in Liebman-land.