And I never seemed to be overwhelmed by any of it.
But today, I sure do seem to be a champion at making my life much more complicated than it has to be. Maybe most people do the same thing this time of year, but I seem to be that award recipient year-round.
What worked for me when I was 30-, 40- or even 50-years old, doesn't seem to work for me today; yet I can't seem to get that into my thick skull (or maybe I'm in deep denial).
I don't decorate the outside of my house in a very big way for Christmas, but I do have a tree for every room inside...a fully decorated, themed tree for each room, including the bathroom, as well as pine garland, lights and more. I used to be able to knock it out in a day and a half all by myself -- not any more.
I have home decorations for every holiday on the calendar -- Valentine's Day, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Fourth of July - but when it comes to Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, that's a different situation. I have so many decorations that I have to remove things from inside the house and store them in boxes in the garage to replace with holiday decorations.
I have huge collections of scary pumpkin-head dolls, autumn leaf plates, pumpkins enough to fill a patch, snowmen, enough cute hand-made reindeer that Santa would have a Plan B, C and D on Christmas Eve, hundreds of Santas, every kind and color of ornament, just in case I want an all white tree, or all red, or all Santa heads, or all ...
You get the picture.
And bags - holy goodness - what is my obsession with bags?
This is my collection of bags -- what the heck??
This is the year I've realized I'm led around by my nose by my decorations - just crazy.
Last year it was the emptiness left in my heart when my mother passed away that kept me from being able to truly embrace the holidays.
This year, it's still a matter of the heart -- atrial fibrillation -- that keeps me from having the energy to decorate, etc.
But it's much more than that. Don't get me wrong; I haven't become Scrooge. I love the holidays. However, nothing is the same as it used to be - nothing. So why do I have to make myself crazy stressing over whether or not I can decorate my home in order to enjoy the holidays? What's wrong with that picture? Everything!
Because I can't lift or climb right now, my fabulous husband has taken care of the successful partial decorating job this year. In so doing, I have realized my limits; not only today's limits, but the limits that will come in the future. Besides, would I rather be home decorating my house with 10 Christmas trees, or would I rather be out to dinner with my husband?
Everyone will be stunned, but next year, if it can't be done to the old standard - a day and a half - then it won't get done. Period.
A new leaf has been turned.
Some of my Santas strategically placed on top of our entertainment center by my wonderful husband.
I'm going to spend the first three months of 2014 going through my many boxes of holiday decorations. I'm going to purge and purge. I don't have to hold on to the item in order to hold on to the memory (as long as that dreaded disease doesn't rob me).
I love you, Mom and miss you bunches.
