You Can Pick Your Friends...

We've all heard the old adage, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."

Lucky for me, the person who was my best friend for most of my adult life (of course, other than my husband), was also family...my mother.

Don't get me wrong, she was the last person on earth that I'd have considered to be a friend when I was in high school and going through my own "growing pains." In fact, I thought she and my dad were the enemy, the devil reincarnated, the worst thing to happen since I lost first chair in the clarinet section. I heard the word, "NO" come out of their mouths more often than not, and they absolutely hated my (then) boyfriend - which, of course drove me right into his arms.

Live and learn. As so often happens, my parents turned out to be right about that guy; he was a definite schmo.

It wasn't until after my mother passed away that I saw and bought this adorable ornament, which sums up my feelings in one short quote:

"The truth is, even if she weren't my mom, I would go out of my way to be friends with her."

Today, I have a new-to-me family member about whom I feel the same way. When my cousin was here visiting a few weeks ago - and even though we did not know each other - we both were immediately comfortable enough to be completely real and open - right from the start.
Not too long after my mother passed away, my cousin and I were united through Facebook, and feeling my sadness, she sent me a very special, yet simple gift. She called it a Blessing Ring. (You can find lots of samples on Pinterest.)
It's basically a keepsake in the making; a unique and practical way to save cards, notes and special mementos you receive from family and friends. As you build your Blessing Ring, you keep it hanging where you can see it everyday.

The one my cousin sent me had a few of her handmade cards on the ring and this message:
"Our gift to you is a Blessing Ring. Each time someone encourages you in word or action, put it on our ring. It may be a birthday card or a note of encouragement from a close friend. Hang your Blessing Ring on your door knob so that each time you walk into your room, you're reminded that you, too, are a blessing to your family, your friends and especially to God!"

Since then, among the things I've added have been a very special card my daughter-in-law sent me when I lost Mother, a couple of favorite photographs, and some hilarious cards from my husband. I've added strands of ribbon between the cards to bling it out.

This is a birthday card my husband gave me, and it's so very much me. It's also what my mother always said to me and to others about me.

This is a favorite card our son gave us for our 40th wedding anniversary. He has the best sense of humor.

And this is a photo of two of my cousin's handmade cards and one of my ornament/mantras I have hanging in my Blessing Ring.

This is such an easy project, and can be a very meaningful gift to your bestie, a daughter going off to college, a friend feeling sadness, etc. I think I'm going to work on about a dozen of them for my Craftin' Sistas.
I'm so glad my cousin has come into my life. I not only choose her to be my friend, I also choose her to be in my family.

I love you, Mom

Discovering Family - Good, Better, Best

You might remember that I wrote on March 14 about the Girl Scout Council of SE Florida presenting an award created in my mother's name to a deserving local Girl Scout leader.  (http://alwaysonmymindforeverinmyheart.blogspot.com/2014/03/building-girls-of-courage.html)
The award was presented at a luncheon I co-chaired on May 10. Four other very deserving women received recognition for their accomplishments in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics - careers that have traditionally been filled with men, but these women have broken through that glass ceiling.

What was already a GOOD day was made BETTER by the recognition of the exceptional Girl Scout leader in memory of Mom, my leader. The recipient has found perfect balance in caring for both her family and the girls entrusted to her care.

What made the BETTER day BEST, was being totally surprised when my brother from Texas, my cousins from Colorado and my sister from Titusville, Fla. traveled all that distance to be here, because they, along with my husband, my son and his wife, wanted to be a part of the celebration of my mother's memory and her role as a Girl Scout leader.

To make a long story short, my cousin and I do not know each other, but I recognized her immediately - thanks to our Facebook friendship we began soon after Mother passed away.

After the luncheon, we all went back to our house and began a six-day marathon of remembering Mom and Daddy, aunts and uncles, grandparents, old neighborhoods and more. With other cousins (some I also do not know) posting old photographs to Facebook, my cousin, her husband, my brother and me would sometimes sit at the kitchen table with our electronic devices and, together, look at and discuss those postings, which prompted more memories coming forward. It was fabulous!

How funny is this? Truly, we're all looking at photos being posted on Facebook. You can't beat technology!

One afternoon we sat with a box full of old photos spread out over the entire dining room tabletop and looked at each and everyone of them. My dad had made the task slightly easier; he had written on the backs of some of them. But there were still many that I've looked at time and time, again, and had no idea who was in the picture. Thanks to my cousin, photos of my grandparents and great grandparents were discovered and identified - even photos of my grandfather's family were in the box (he passed away when my mother was a young child).

For me, though, the pièce de résistance was when I found a photo of me sitting next to my grandmother (Mom's mother) with her arm around me and a baby in her lap. Although we don't know who that baby is, it's the only photo there is of me with Gramma! She passed away on my third birthday as we were having a 'pretend' tea party; my only memory of her.
The photo was an amazing discovery.

A few months ago, I mentioned to someone that I wasn't finding joy in much of anything these days. Not since Sept. 26, 2012 have I enjoyed anything like I enjoyed this past week. Connecting and reconnecting with "lost" and known family, listening to stories and learning more about my own past is - to me - priceless.

 I think it was the therapy I didn't know I needed.

My brother is planning a Cousin Union in Texas next year, and I can't wait. We can't actually call it a reunion, since many of us have never met.
I already know of a few cousins who are making plans to be there, and I can't wait.
Did I mention - I can't wait?
Some of the newly identified pictures from that old box will be a welcome sight to many.
I look forward to another great week of discovering family.

Mom, how much fun did you have this past week? WOW!