Nicomachean Ethics

Did you happen to watch last night's premier episode of a new television sitcom entitled "Life in Pieces?" James Brolin plays the father in a typically dysfunctional family (show me one that isn't), and in an effort to hear how his family and friends might speak of him at his funeral, he throws himself a funeral as a 70th birthday party. (It was actually a funny show that I hope makes it to more episodes.) He doesn't like some of the things being said about him, then argues with those he loves the most.

I had a similar experience today, but before I talk about that, I want to share a story with you that my boss often shares with others as he's trying to convince them to become donors and/or volunteers for the free clinic at which we both work.

In his best Aristotle stance, he tells a story of how people have two kinds of eulogies. One is the resume eulogy - the accomplishments you list in hopes of impressing a possible employer. The other is the funeral eulogy - the pieces of you that are left behind once you have departed this earth.

Naturally the resume eulogy is intended to be remarkable and extraordinary - something that will grab the eye of the beholder, in this case an employer, or a particular school, or classmates because the paragraph next to your photo in the school year book is longer than anyone else's on that page. That's what I did in high school. I joined every club and after school activity I could possibly fit into my schedule just so my paragraph could be long and impressive. I believed that was the road to victory over not being so popular.

The funeral eulogy is something you usually don't hear, but it touts your virtues, your goodness, the marks you left on others, the true meaning of your life. Most of us hope we've actually lived up to that funeral eulogy, because let's face it - no one ever speaks negatively about the dearly departed. We can only hope that what's going to be said, the outpouring of kind thoughts, is actually how people did feel about us, and not just what they think they have to say.
Following me?

So, why don't we all live our funeral eulogy - right now? Why don't we all bend a little, love a lot, see the good in others, help the unfortunate, live that very simple Golden Rule?

I joked at lunch today as so many powerful women in my community spoke of me as being a positive force in their lives, as understanding the needs of the underserved and advocating for change, as always being willing to help, as being a second mother, as being a good community servant. I joked that maybe they knew something I hadn't been told yet by my doctors; that I felt like I was attending my own funeral.

But, of course, it wasn't my funeral. And, although my first inclination was to shy away from the compliments, instead, I took this rare opportunity to hear the words "Mission Accomplished" playing in my head as I owned this very proud moment.
Is that wrong?
No!

The person they were describing is me! And I'm proud of it. Why wouldn't I be?
That's exactly who I am and I'm owning it.

Every woman there leads the same life. Every woman there leads by example. They are all giving-natured, working for the betterment of our community, each in her own way. I look up to each of them. I appreciate each of them and what they bring to the table.

A few months ago, I allowed a mean girl to get into my head and wreak havoc. I began doubting myself; my every move; my adult life's work.

Today was a wake up call - to me and to all you women out there who are working for the greater good of your own communities. Keep up the good work and own it! When someone compliments you for your courage, your kindness, your steadfastness, own it! Know that they are speaking your funeral eulogy right then and there on the spot, and you are lucky enough to be hearing it. Walk in pride and own it!

I do not, by a long shot, think I'm the best thing since sliced bread.
But I am owning who I am.

I am so grateful for today. I am grateful to have these powerful women in my life. I am grateful to be lifted by them each and every day of the week. I am grateful for the lessons of today.

And, something else happened. When it was mentioned that I might not feel as valued now that I'm no longer working at the newspaper, I had an immediate answer that I must share tonight:
"I am not, nor ever was, defined by my job at the newspaper. However, I learned a great deal while there and it is that education that has offered me the opportunity I have today to be a development director for a non-profit. I still am not defined by my job, but I am defined, in part and as I learned today, by who I became as a result of that job at the newspaper."

The bonus in today's luncheon is that it comes only four days from the third anniversary of my mother's passing. If ever I needed lifting, it was now. God works in mysterious ways.

(Click on the photo to see it larger)

You'd be so proud, Mom and Dad.
Miss you and love you.

How Nice!

I began my morning with a "How Nice" and ended it with a "How Nice."

This morning's was a southern girl's way of acknowledging something, but in a way that is nicer than what she'd really like to say - which is not so nice.
But this evening's was a southern girl's way of saying she's perfectly satisfied and happy.

I finished out my day crafting, gardening, cooking and just enjoying myself, completely confident that what had gotten my goat this morning was nothing more than a Mean Girl thing, and with the support of my girl friends, well, it would soon be behind me - and it was.

I saw a project on Pinterest, and a bunch of my friends sent it to me via Facebook, so it seemed it was meant for me to do this. Of course, I do have a 'thing' for pumpkins...

This is a photo of the potted plants next to my front door.

Cute enough with my flamingos, and typical Florida -- but not really very fall-ish. Okay, I know that many of you out there don't think we have fall in south Florida, but I can tell you it's on its way. The shadows are falling very differently now, so it's on its way! Trust me. We may have to turn to our crotons to see any color, but fall is coming!

And this is the new and improved potted plant.

I think it's really cute, but thank goodness I don't have a lot of money in this project, because, in full disclosure, I also think it might end up being a Pinterest Fail. As I filled each of the plastic pumpkins with dirt and the plant, the pumpkins began to smoosh down.

I made something similar using clay pots a few years ago and that's really what I recommend, but it surely wouldn't be as cute. It's much easier to keep the potting soil level in a clay pot. With this, I have a feeling I'm going to wake up in a few days, go out to get the newspaper, and find that the little mums have popped out of the flattened pumpkins. We'll see.

The small mums were $1 each at Home Depot, the pumpkins were $1.99 each at KMart and the potting soil was $10.97 at Home Depot.

Anyway, it's cute and put a smile on my face.
Here's my front porch.

Speaking of KMart, I never go there, but was looking for the pumpkins and found this cute door mat. I'll have to start checking them out more often.

Here are some other projects I worked on - wreaths for my office door. I'm ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving.

This is a black wreath you can pick up at any craft store. The witches hat is an old fascinator that I've had for years and years. I broke off the headband and glued the hat on to the wreath, glued on some glittery ornaments shaped like pumpkins and glued on some bows. Done!

Then, using silk leaves from garland that I've accumulated through the years and a wood frame, I made this.

I glued the leaves onto the frame, glued on some little berries and attached a glittery bow and done!

For whatever reason, this is the time of year I enjoy crafting most. And today, in particular, it was the perfect ending to a shaky start.

My friend teaches a writing class; her students journal. I would take that class if I could still write, but my inherited essential tremors force me to turn to my computer and type, rather than hand write my journal. Anyway you look at it, though, journaling is a freeing experience. I slow myself down to think about what’s truly happening around me, as well as my part in it. Journaling - my blog - has helped me build serenity.

No matter how your day begins, end it with creativity and journaling. You'll feel a difference.


Love and miss you, Mom. There are three out there right now, lined up and waiting.