Just Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend

My husband and I just spent a most incredible four days in Key West being pampered at a luxury resort, dining at its five-star restaurant, flying to an island that most others access through a 2 1/2-hour very rough boat ride, and enjoying pure and simple, much-needed down time.

Our morning view from our front porch.

We were with two people who afforded us this fabulous opportunity. But they aren't just people. They are two of the kindest and most generous friends I have. (As those of you who read my blog know, I never use names in my posts, and tonight's post will be no different.)

I am a very blessed woman to have the close friends I have.

I don't actually have a best friend. In fact, the last time I can say I had a best friend was in high school and then she shunned me because of my teen pregnancy. I just never had the inclination to have or work towards another best friend -- other than my husband.

Most of us have several circles of friends, right? Here's how I make up my circles:
My inner circle - those I consider to be the closest to me - are the ones I confide in, I trust with my inner most thoughts, I respect, I support and they show support in return (no matter what), we share loyalty, I have know them for a long time, and we have fun together. We have a lot in common, but we don't let our differences cloud up our friendship. We can be each other's shoulder, but we know when space should be allowed. We understand that tag line, "What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas."
My middle circle is where most of my friends live. It's made up of people with whom I enjoy spending time, We share some commonalities. I feel a certain level of trust, we laugh and have fun together, and they listen when I need to talk and vice verse.
My outer circle is primarily folks with whom I am getting to know. We haven't had that special opportunity to learn if they can really be trusted, but I enjoy hanging around with them and having fun. More than likely, we have several things in common.

I have an incredible inner circle of friends, yet they are all very different. Some are thin, some not so much. Some are educated, some are not. We are of varying backgrounds when it comes to how we were raised. We don't all agree on political or even religious views. Some have grandchildren and some don't. Some are retired and others are not, while some are financially set for life and others will work forever.

When it comes to my dear friends with whom my husband and I just shared an incredible weekend, what joins us together far outweighs what could divide us. While our political views are at opposite ends of the spectrum,  we each respect that living in this great nation gives us the freedom to agree to disagree. None of the four of us are religious, but we are - all four - very spiritual. We raised our children with love and the hope that their lives would be better than ours, but we wonder if we went too far in providing them with their every want - each in our own way. We are nowhere near each other on the financial ladder, but we all share a deep respect for each hard-earned dollar in our pockets. We've shared the responsibility of caring for our parents, and we've each had to let go of loved ones. We laugh about our differing opinions of what the definition of camping is, and we tease about the things we each consider to be fun activities.

This past weekend, I realized (again) that as life gets shorter, it becomes more and more important  to surround yourself with those you love, respect, trust and just simply enjoy being around. There's almost nothing more rewarding in life than close relationships, be it with a spouse, children, family members, or friends. One of the things that all of the most cherished and satisfying relationships have in common is memories. The four of us created new and lasting memories these past four days, and my husband and I are forever grateful.

I thought about you a lot this weekend while in the Keys, Daddy. I'm sure I even crossed some of your ocean paths. I love and miss you.

Entangled, trapped and saved

Since Mother's passing in 2012, I seem to prepare for the onslaught of emotions as Mother's Day approaches; missing her and wishing she could have made it to her 100th birthday -- as she often said she hoped to do.  (She looked forward to the recognition our local County Commission gives to centenarians. lol)

Mother lived with us for so long and she passed here at home, so I'm grateful to my son and his wife for understanding I prefer not to be home over Mother's Day weekend. This year, they planned a kayaking trip on the Weeki Wachee River on the west coast of Florida.

What an absolutely beautiful day with perfect weather, loving companionship and silly fun.

The current was so strong for most of the 5.5-mile trip that we barely had to paddle. And even though it was a busy day on the water, the experience was relaxing and serene -- until -- somehow I got caught up in a very fast current on my left and suddenly I was entangled in a tree and grapevine. Seriously snared, and with each passing moment it was as if the tree and it's grapevines were entrapping me like a boa grabs its prey. My son and husband made their way back to help me, as I floundered, sort of 'hanging' by my left arm as it was woven into the branches. What a mess! After a while, they were able to maneuver around and get me out of that jumbled weave of branches and grapevine. Thank goodness no photos!

Then it was on to the next adventure in kayaking. We came around a bend and people were jumping into the cold, spring-fed river from tree tops and other, lower platforms. We had to join the fun.

My son jumped in from the tree tops, but I played it safe and jumped from a much lower platform.

What fun!!  (If you look closely, you can see the guy in the kayak on the right laughing at this old lady, but I never saw him take the plunge. Just sayin'.)

I love spending time and being adventurous with my son and his wife. They bring out the energy in me and push me to do more. And, as I've said in previous posts, my daughter-in-law knows all the fun things to do. We're looking forward to more kayaking, and hopefully, some camping with them.

For those of you who have never gone through the loss of a beloved loved one; for those of you who have said to me that you think life just goes on; for those of you who didn't have the type of loving relationship I was blessed to enjoy; and for those of you who need validation as you journey through your own loss, know this: Simply put, missing Mother just sucks.

Just like being sucked in by the tree and its grapevines, it's entangling!
My guess is that if I had just relaxed, my arm would have probably slipped right out of the grip of the tree branches, and I wouldn't have the soreness, scratches and bruises I have today. 
Much like that, I find that when I am feeling the emptiness of that gaping hole left behind by the loss of my mother, if I - instead - allow the memories of our time together to flood through my mind, I then begin to feel happiness, contentment, loved, comforted, lifted, blessed, honored, inspired, hopeful, strong, brave, encouraged, empowered, purpose-driven -- I begin to feel like me, again.

When we returned home from our weekend away, I walked into what used to be Mother's bedroom and I immediately was hit with her scent. Whew! It caught me by surprise, but it was wonderful and just what I needed.

So, when you think of your mother, remember that she is constantly guiding you and sending you love when you need it the most. You will feel her hug, you will feel her heart and that is when you will feel brand new. And each and everyday you will realize that you have all of these feelings, because you were lucky enough to call her your mother.

Someone 'accused' me of staying in a state of mourning. To that I say:
Yes, I mourn my loss, but I also celebrate Mother's life, her influence, her strength, her steadfastness, and all things that made her who she was. I love her.

Mother's Day, 1965

Missing you, Mom.