Find the Good in the Past

Every year, no matter what kind of year it's been, there are those who are glad to see it all come to a close. Of course, 2020 and 2021 have certainly tested our grit, but I, for one, never want to see time pass. It just puts me closer to the grave, and frankly, I'm happy right here.

We sometimes forget that we all have different tolerance levels. What might look like darkness to one, might look like light at the end of a tunnel to another. What’s intolerable to some, might be a piece of cake to others. Here's a look back on my year and my wishes for you in 2022.

In January 2021, amid all the fear and misinformation, I received my first COVID-19 vaccine, while also learning that a friend had the dreadful virus. I’m grateful that together with distancing and wearing a mask, science has kept me safe from harm.

In February 2021, Mel and I watched as my neighbor’s dog brutally attacked her. I’m grateful that we were there to divert the dog’s attention so our neighbor could escape. I’m grateful we were able to help her.

In March 2021, before she was eligible for the vaccine, I lost a friend to COVID-19. I mourn her loss, but I’m so grateful to have known her – she was nothing but fun, eagerness, and a ball of energy. Her influence taught me the value of living; of being in the moment. Her passing and the passing of my sister in 2017 also influenced a decision I would later make.

In April 2021, a victim of COVID-19 and its new virtual reality, my beloved Crafting Sistas met for the last time. I’m grateful for the nearly 11-years we spent together each month, supporting one another, laughing, appreciating, creating, and loving. It was a great ride.

In May 2021, we lost a long-time friend who had been suffering with cancer for many years. We have about 35-years of memories shared with this friend and are grateful those times spent together far outweigh the circumstances of his untimely death.

In June 2021, a visit to the emergency room left me grateful to the salesperson from Seacoast Air-Conditioning, who was in the middle of giving me an estimate for a new unit when I suddenly fell ill, for staying with me until Mel arrived.

In July 2021, after an extended period of ugly estrangement, I was reunited with someone I love very much. I’m beyond grateful to have this person back in my life.

In August 2021, I was diagnosed with a chronic abdominal ailment that will haunt me forever. I’m grateful that, once again, science and watching my diet make it possible for my condition to be treatable.

In September 2021, amid the travel chaos caused by COVID-19 and with sciatica issues plaguing me, Mel and I traveled to Jackson, Wyoming, where we hiked more than 70-miles in the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Park. There are no words that fully describe my gratefulness for being able to take this trip and seeing these wonders of nature.

In October 2021, financially fearful and cautious of what the future holds, I retired. Although I enjoyed what I was doing and consider my former “boss” to be a very close friend, I no longer wanted to sit behind a desk, literally on-call for someone else. I actually made this decision back in March after the passing of a friend. I am eternally grateful to my husband for his support in my decision.

In November 2021, I came to a much sought-after realization. It’s been a bit more than nine-years since my mother passed away. I’ve spent those years reminiscing about our holidays and how Thanksgiving was Mother’s high holy day. That’s the holiday we all came together - no matter what -- and spent practically the entire afternoon at the dining room table, feasting on Mom’s delicious meal, the voices of the three sisters going up two octaves causing everyone else to go tone-deaf, laughing, joking, playing jokes on one another, listening to Dad’s tales of the past, Mom gifting all the girls her handmade cross-stitched ornaments of the year, and then enjoying Mom’s scrumptious pecan and pumpkin pies. For nine-years I’ve ached for that same feeling of contentment to return to my heart. For nine-years I’ve blamed myself for not being the glue replacement – knowing that Mom was the glue that held us all together. For nine-years I’ve cried about lost traditions. Then, it was a line in a Hallmark movie that actually helped me see the light. Yes, a Hallmark Christmas movie. It was something like, “You’ll always have the memories of those family traditions in your heart, but you can create new memories, too.”

This holiday season has been the best I’ve had since Mother passed away. I didn’t spend one minute of my time wishing or hoping for a Thanksgiving like we used to have or trying to recreate Christmas from years gone by. I have those memories to hold on to and I’m forever grateful. This year I let go and I let it all happen organically and it was fabulous. Thanksgiving at my son’s was the three of us in the kitchen preparing our non-turkey meal, crafting up some pet-paw ornaments together, and decorating for Christmas together. It was, by far, the best!!

Looking beyond the fact that we continue to battle COVID, December has been a dream come true. Mel and I went to some parties, met up with someone I love in St. Augustine, hosted my annual cookie exchange, paid it forward a time or two, celebrated a friend’s birthday, and then the three of us enjoyed Christmas together. No pressure to recreate past traditions or even create new ones, no sadness on my part, and no regrets.

So, as we get ready to close the 2021 chapter of our lives, rather than looking forward to its end, I hope you can look back on the year and find the good in it. These past two years have been a lot – no doubt. But they are also what you choose to make of them. We have each other and we have faith, hope, laughter, and love. Allow yourself to lean on one another. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others.

Cheers to a fabulous 2022 – whatever that might be for you.

-- Sydney